Water Signs

 

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inspired by doodling/sketching from memory, and teased from the answers given by this couple to the instruction: name your favorite body of water

 

Then water, you and I,
Scorpio and Cancer, respectively,

yours the calm fathomed passion of lake
mine a spring fed, fast-tumbling brook

You taught me to swim in your deep
with caressing breast and leg stroke

I flashed my silver moon flair, leapt,
like a fish, into dizzying ozone air

matched my fall-free
drowning-dive to your quiver.

Oh the silky innuendo,
shimmered laughter and sparkling jive –

though you wanted more of wet and more wet,
I, the tiptoe through shallow

fearful I could be lured, get hooked
by such a sweet, catch-and-release kind of man

© belcanto 2017
critique and comments welcome.

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10 Comments on "Water Signs"

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Stormwolf
Member

FAB! Love it. Too many great lines to single one out. However, the last two says it all.
Alison x

Archiemac
Member

Some nice metaphors here, Bel. Not sure I understand “fall-free” though. Do you mean “freefall” or “freefalling” maybe?

Gothicman
Member
Yes, a level of nuance perfection and off-centre intrigue that only you, Leila, and Dylan, for me, are able to achieve. The watery references are metaphorically very intimate and erotic in nature, all the impressions of a very tactile woman enjoying both the excitement and danger of being wooed with such intensity! I remember your comments to one of my poems about a woman wet “T-shirting” her thin silk dress in the rain as a birthday treat for her man, and then you said the American “free-falling” was in my case being riskΓ© in public, but I suppose it means… Read more Β»
Leila
Member

Ah such a lovely sensual feel to this, most enjoyed, the ending is perfect…I am just wondering if the opening two lines are the perfect way into the poem, all the other couplets are so very very strong that the first two leave me wanting something else, something to grab me immediately as all the others do…but anyway I love it!…Leila x

Mitch
Member

Measured writing and sensuous though I did share Leila’s concern about the first two lines though us Zodiac nuts know that Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces are the water signs. Cracking ode methinks. Mitch

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