Battle

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We all have our battles to fight. The wee sma’ hours are the worst. Dedicated to Mike Verdie.


      Battle

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To sleep and meld with midnight’s tomb;
Or die and enter Karma’s womb.
To rage against the endless doom
of poverty and war….
Or pray ’til you’re an empty shell
and still feel you inhabit hell,
from their perspective few can tell
those things which plague your mind;
and people say “you’re looking well!”
in order to be kind.

But no-one knows those battles fought
immersed in pit of night
and all those deals you make and break
before the waking light.
While clinging fast with trembling grasp
exhausted from the fight;
That tenuous rope
of forlorn hope
that things
will be
alright…

 

© stormwolf 2017
Views: 672
critique and comments welcome.

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19 Comments on "Battle"

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Gothicman
Member
Are these dangerously near to being finely-worded sonnets, Alison? Appears to describe so well this non-sleeping phase when mental cohesion is at its lowest, bringing less ability to rationalise away all ongoing fears and doubts one is struggling with, or keeping out, in the waking state. Depends on, of course, how sensitive (and vulnerable) one is to the state of the world. Irrigation demands increasing with ageing are the only disturbers of sleep allowing me to experience the small-hours, but I have developed mental tricks to counteract them, and easily resume sleeping. But, I do sympathise with night suffers, for… Read more ยป
Leila
Member

As Gothicman said, the feel of a sonnet for sure. Well written, well constructed, well rhymed, a very fine poem…Leila x

Gerry
Member

My bainium is beinning to hurt again – but I think I know what you mean… ๐Ÿ˜‰
gerry x.

Mikeverdi
Member

I don’t know a sonnet from an open drain….but I loved and understand this. Welcome to my world.
Mike XxX

Archiemac
Member

It’s quite simple, Mike. A poem of 14 lines, usually in iambic pentameter (deDUM-deDUM-deDUM-deDUM-deDUM) and with a certain rhyme scheme, for example the Shakespearean sonnet (which rhymes ABAB CDCD EFEF GG).

You should write one some day…

Sweetwater
Member

Well, Thankfully I managed to end up at this portion of the maze, so I have been able to read this stunning work, I loved it, and empathised with it, from the first to the last line. You have such talent Alison, you need to be read far and wide. Sue xx.
PS, nice to know there is a submit link somewhere, however well hidden from me!

Archiemac
Member

Wow… I believe this is the only rhyming or metre-based poem of yours that I’ve ever read. And it’s a pretty damn fine one too! It rhymes and flows very well indeed.

The structural and linguistic skill of this piece is excellent. You do not fall into the trap of putting words in the wrong order just to make a line rhyme, which a lot of people do, and which sounds awful.

I also really like the way the poem drifts off at the end as the lines get shorter and shorter. Wonderful stuff, a favourite for me!

Archie x

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